Speak before you think...

I know it is suppose to be "think before you speak", but I guess I get the two confused because I have had some pretty bad instances of sticking my foot in my mouth big time at work. Upon popular demand, here are a few examples:

#1 Picture with me if you will, a large group of 14 baseball players walk into Cheesecake Factory at the very end of my shift. They all order water and wont stop asking for bread. They share meals and ask for seperate checks. Am I happy? NO. I just want to go home and not stay another hour for this lame party. I overhear them talking about their drive back to Provo and put two and two together and think to ask if they are LDS. I wasn't necessarily shocked to hear they were indeed Mormon. In fact I spit out of my frustrated mouth with out thinking obviously, "Yeah, I figured you guys were Mormon. Mormons always order water and want lots of bread." Oops. That came across as really rude and I didn't really have it in me at that point to try to make it better. It gets better, turns out they know one of my really close friends from college. I am sure she will hear about how nice I was.

#2 A table of six African Americans, five vulumptuous middle-aged women and one older looking man. They are super loud, order a ton of drinks from the bar and are celebrating a birthday for the man at the table. The time comes when I get to sing Happy Birthday while delivering the cheesecake with a candle in it. I asked the women (who appeared to be his daughter) what her dad's name was so we could sing to him. With the exception of the gentleman, all five ladies start laughing histarically. So loud the entire restaurant was looking at the table. Turns out it was her husband. My bad. No matter how hard you try to get out of that one, you just can't.

#3. A booth for six with a pregnant lady and her husband sitting alone waiting for the others to arrive. I take a drink order and make small talk. I asked her when she was due. Before she could answer her mother came up behind me with a newborn in a carseat. Shoot, she already had the baby. I am not kidding, she still looked nine months pregnant. No, she looked 12 months pregnant. I felt really bad. She handled it well. I don't think her husband was very amused.

#4 As I am approaching the table I recognize the man as someone I just recently served. I say, "Hey, I just served you two the other day." They both looked up and I realized it was the same guy with a different girl. Obviously she knows she wasn'y just there the other day and he knows I remember him with another girl. AWKARD!! They were on a first date and I only made their nervous-ness even worse.

#5 If that's not enough here is one more. A girl, mid twenties, sitting at a table. She orders drinks for herself and for her "honey" she speaks of. I bring the drinks to the table and say, "here is your iced tea and a Coke for your husband." Just guess who creeps around the corner to this very table as I am saying this? Another women. They are totally lesbians.


So lets see if I've covered all the major issues people are easily offended over- religion, age, weight, dating and homosexuality. Yep, I've taken care of them all. Good to know nobody's perfect I guess.

The Cheesecake Factory may be a tedious job, but I am always entertained by my stupidity.