Desperate Housewives

So my friend and I decided to be "Desperate Housewives" for our husbands' school Halloween party. Lets face it, we really are desperate for so many things. I'll list a few: attention, social interaction, entertainment, money, and good old quality time with our hubbys. We couldn't think of a more appropriate costume. Plus the fact it gave me the opportunity to feel like a "real" women, if you know what I mean. Let's just say I was a little "fuller" tonight. Zac quite enjoyed my "additional shape" I created with the help of a little stuffing. I actually used his buddy's socks to supplement what little I already have. I don't know why, but after Zac heard that minor detail he was suddenly creeped out.




Wierd looks? Yeah, we got them. Was it worth it? YES! To be completely honest, I really enjoyed the looks. They were looks of envy and confusion. There were some random girls sitting at a table who had faces that read one of two things, "Are those real? What is she trying to pull?" or "Does she have any idea how fake those look? Hello, half a sock is hanging out of your sleeve?" Either way, they were looking and it was awesome. My whole life I have always been a bit unvulumptuous, so this night was like a dream come true.

ONE DAY...




So this is why Zac is at the library tonight, so one day this can become a reality. He can come home to a new me in seven years.

Disclaimer: I am really not that obsessed with big boobs, but it would be fun.

Warning: Note to other fellow flatties- don't try this at home, it makes you realize what you ARE definately missing.

Can I have your number?

This is the first boy to ask me for my number since I've been married. He was five years old and had a mohawk. He came into Cheesecake Factory with his family. He asked me if I was the 'real Cheesecake Factory Princess". "Of course I am," I said. He got all embarrased and put his sweatshirt over his head. Through out the meal he was not eating, but busy coloring on a piece of paper. Turns out he was drawing a picture of me. It had a picture of a princess and it said, "to Becky, The Real Cheesecake Factory Princess." His parents asked me if I would take a picture with him. On their way out he gave me his artwork he drew and asked me, "can I have your number?" His dad was so embarresed, he didn't know what to say. I told him I didn't think my husband would like me to give my number out to other men. He didn't get it and asked the same question again, "can I have your number?" At this point his dad just said, "I am sorry, I promise I didn't teach him that" and tried to push him towards the exit. I found it a bit amusing, borderline awkward. It made work a little more entertaining today to say the least.

Halloween Fun

We went to our ward Halloween party tonight. Zac was a pirate and I was a doctor. So orignal, I know. We kind of didn't really think about what to be until this afternoon. Zac actually went to Savers by himself and put his costume together. I was quite impressed.
Zac signed up to be on traffic control for parking at the church. I don't know, does anyone think that sounds a little wierd to have a person assigned to directing traffic at a ward function? When he told me, I started cracking up. I thought it was a joke. He didn't think it was strange at all. So he was worried he was late when we showed up at 6:40. As we drove into the church I noticed everyone seemed to be parking just fine with out him. Zac was oblivious, just focusing on getting to where he needed to be. He quickly parked the car and hurrued in. Sure enough he reported to the man in charge and he had no idea what Zac was talking about. He said they had the parking under control and they didn't need him. I think someone played a prank on him. Who would do that to my poor, willing husband? Whoever it was, kudos, it was pretty funny. So we had a great time watching all the kids in their costumes, eating hot dogs and getting cotton candy. I am starting to really enjoy this holiday.
Bottom line= Zac really will do anything you ask him to, no questions asked. I have to be careful not to take advantage of such a sweet characteristic.

Oops!!

What would you have done?

So a man ordered a shot of Sherry at work, at the same time another man at another table ordered a shot of Brandy, (these are alcohol shots, not vaccinations for kids). I am sure you can guess what happened...I mixed the two up and gave them the wrong shots. What should I have done? Gone and told them I was sorry, but I made a mistake. What did I do? Said nothing and prayed neither of them would notice. Did they notice? No, I think they were too drunk at that point. I was lucky. This may be the only positive thing about drinking, it gives a lame waitress' like me a break. Moral of the story, don't drink. Moral of the story for me, be careful when serving alcohol.

Jack-O-Lantern

As all of you know, Halloween is in just over two weeks. Is anyone out there as excited as I am? For some reason I was totally craving carving a pumpkin, so I went to WalMart and bought myself one. I brought it home and asked Zac if he wanted to help me make a Jack-O-Lantern. I was rejected by my own husband. He was stressed about studying. Not only do I not have kids to do this fun holiday tradition with, but no husband as well.
I got revenge though. I decided to freak Zac out since he was not being supportive of my enthusiasm. What did I do? I started talking to "our" imaginary kids. I started telling little "Morgan" what a great job she was doing and "Garrrett" to be careful with the knife. He thought I was losing it. I thought it was entertaining. It turned out to be a good time. If you look closely at the pumpkin's eyes, it has little tears in the corners. I told Zac I put them there because this pumpkin felt unloved. He felt really bad and then I felt bad because I was just kidding around. To make up for it he helped me take this awesome picture of the final product. I know it may be different than most you've seen out there. I like to be really creative with my carving.
Hands down best part of the experience=salty, roasted pumpkin seeds. YUM!
Oh yeah and making Zac think I was a psycho. So Fun.

Speak before you think...

I know it is suppose to be "think before you speak", but I guess I get the two confused because I have had some pretty bad instances of sticking my foot in my mouth big time at work. Upon popular demand, here are a few examples:

#1 Picture with me if you will, a large group of 14 baseball players walk into Cheesecake Factory at the very end of my shift. They all order water and wont stop asking for bread. They share meals and ask for seperate checks. Am I happy? NO. I just want to go home and not stay another hour for this lame party. I overhear them talking about their drive back to Provo and put two and two together and think to ask if they are LDS. I wasn't necessarily shocked to hear they were indeed Mormon. In fact I spit out of my frustrated mouth with out thinking obviously, "Yeah, I figured you guys were Mormon. Mormons always order water and want lots of bread." Oops. That came across as really rude and I didn't really have it in me at that point to try to make it better. It gets better, turns out they know one of my really close friends from college. I am sure she will hear about how nice I was.

#2 A table of six African Americans, five vulumptuous middle-aged women and one older looking man. They are super loud, order a ton of drinks from the bar and are celebrating a birthday for the man at the table. The time comes when I get to sing Happy Birthday while delivering the cheesecake with a candle in it. I asked the women (who appeared to be his daughter) what her dad's name was so we could sing to him. With the exception of the gentleman, all five ladies start laughing histarically. So loud the entire restaurant was looking at the table. Turns out it was her husband. My bad. No matter how hard you try to get out of that one, you just can't.

#3. A booth for six with a pregnant lady and her husband sitting alone waiting for the others to arrive. I take a drink order and make small talk. I asked her when she was due. Before she could answer her mother came up behind me with a newborn in a carseat. Shoot, she already had the baby. I am not kidding, she still looked nine months pregnant. No, she looked 12 months pregnant. I felt really bad. She handled it well. I don't think her husband was very amused.

#4 As I am approaching the table I recognize the man as someone I just recently served. I say, "Hey, I just served you two the other day." They both looked up and I realized it was the same guy with a different girl. Obviously she knows she wasn'y just there the other day and he knows I remember him with another girl. AWKARD!! They were on a first date and I only made their nervous-ness even worse.

#5 If that's not enough here is one more. A girl, mid twenties, sitting at a table. She orders drinks for herself and for her "honey" she speaks of. I bring the drinks to the table and say, "here is your iced tea and a Coke for your husband." Just guess who creeps around the corner to this very table as I am saying this? Another women. They are totally lesbians.


So lets see if I've covered all the major issues people are easily offended over- religion, age, weight, dating and homosexuality. Yep, I've taken care of them all. Good to know nobody's perfect I guess.

The Cheesecake Factory may be a tedious job, but I am always entertained by my stupidity.

Inclination=

Inclination: a feeling that makes somebody want to do something or behave in a particular way.

Zac and I are challenging ourselves to follow every inclination we have this week. Today was the first day we did it and it was kind of fun. It is wierd to think how rarely I listen to my inclination. It's not really that easy, but so empowering.

Joke

Why is 6 afraid of 7?

Because 7 - 8 - 9.

Get it? I know it is kind of lame, but it made me laugh. Does that mean I am getting old?